I didn’t focus on setbacks until I was older. I was adopted as a newborn and had a normal Midwest life. When I was 32, my mother passed away. She had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for years. She was still functioning at a high level when breast cancer returned after 30 years, which progressed rapidly. I was very angry. I hated God for taking her away. I hated that she would never see my children. I hated that she just wasn’t here. Friends and family telling me “She’s in a better place” practically had me throwing upper cuts at the funeral. Had someone told me that “everything happens for a reason” I just might have thrown a punch! I wasn’t able to see the “setup” in my setback.
Two years later, I was blessed with a child having special needs. The setback of caring for my mother and the pain of losing her prepared me for caring for my daughter. While other parents were trying to adjust to life having a child with special needs, we were adjusted and moving forward. Priorities were thrown into perspective and our lives were made better.
Four years later, I became the caregiver to my in-laws. Both in their 90’s, and one battling Alzheimer’s. Again, my mother prepared me to help my mother-in-law. It was very difficult to put aside the deep hurting feelings of reliving the situation I did with my own mother. I was able to take care of her, understand her and know that she may not remember but for the moment she was really happy.
Figuring out the positive side to your setback can be hard to do. I didn’t see that my mom was preparing me to be the mom I would need to be for my little girl. She wasn’t going to be around for that day, so she made sure that I could handle it alone.
You can change the setback by approaching it as a set up.
Choice, Chance, Change
You have to make the choice to take the chance or your life with never change.
Julie
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