Same View Different Eyes

Almost six years ago, I lost my mother, who was 83, to breast cancer and Alzheimers.  Recently, a very good friend reminded of a funny story. Without keeping my humor I would have never survived the pain.

One evening, my family was at an Italian restaurant for dinner. My mom leaned over and said pointing "That man over there is staring at me." Knowing the in's and out's of Alzheimers and having children of my own, I smiled and said "Don't worry about it mom, eat your dinner - don't point."

Time passed and again she tells me with a little more force "That man over there is staring at me." "Mom, please don't worry about it, eat your dinner he's probably not even looking at you." "Oh, yes, he is!" my mother tells me.

This time with anger, she tells me "JULIE ANN!!! That man is staring at me and I'm going to go say something to him!!!" "Okay Okay Okay! I got it!!!" I stop her from leaving the table, but now I have to go confront this man. Being the good and concerned daughter that I am, I nervously ask my mom to point out the man staring at her.

Let me tell you.... I marched right over to this man, that happened to be the carved butler statue standing at the entrance of the restaurant holding wine glasses and a bread basket, demanding that he quit staring at my mother! The owner of the restaruant was happy to turn the butler statue in a different direction until we left.

To often we are quick to judge a dress hanging in the window, a person, a job opportunity, a relationship, a friendship - based on the way we first see it. Something or someone could change your life, but you won't or didn't take time to really see it. You already "knew all about it" or "all about that person", and possibly missed the opportunity.

My mom adopted me when I was four days old. My mom put me on the school bus every morning. My mom tied my shoes, combed my hair and gave me style.  My mom raised me in church.  My mom taught me to laugh, love, live and lie about your shoe size.  My mom taught me to have the same view with different eyes.

I love you mom!

Don't Let Frustration Get You Down!!!

I thought that staying at home would be a piece of cake!  I work 40 hours outside the house plus travel time, and get everything done.  I'll have plenty of time to myself.  NOT!!!  Do you think Ms. Cunningham was mixing a cocktail at 4p, too?  Being a stay at home mom can be tough and the best thing in the world all at the same time.

FATIGUE.  Starting the day with little ones... wrestling on their clothes, and the list of instructions - brush your teeth, comb your hair, tie your shoes, get your back pack, eat breakfast, get the the car, turn off the tv..... where the heck was my COFFEE I'm EXHAUSTED?????  You don't necessarily get a break when you want one!  Just when I get both of the little ones down for a nap, and I can relax for a minute, anxiety kicks in and I'm off to the races to get things done.  If you're feeling worn out, don't use naptime to rush through chores.  Recharge your own batteries while the kids are recharging theirs.

GROUNDHOG'S DAY.  It's okay to say it... it get's boring! Try new activities, especially things that get everybody outside. Schedule another playdate but with new people.  Do things together as a family that everyone - including Mom - enjoys.

WHERE'S THE CASH.   It's not what you make, it's what you spend.  Don't fall prey to instant gratification, which steals your precious dollars.  If you've been cutting back and still can't make your bills, consider a part-time job. Your kids will not benefit if their parents go bankrupt! 

ANYBODY?  ANYBODY?  It's great to spend time with other moms at the 1,000 activities designed for kids, but what about you? Join Mom's Circles or something so that you are interacting with women who have made the same choices can really brighten your day. 

I MISS WORKING.  I did!  There's no reason you can't get the satisifaction of holding a job while being a stay at home mom, which also helps build strong communications with other moms throughout the day to avoid being lonely.  Find balance with an at home business that won't take up all of your family time.  Giving your selfesteem a boost helps everyone in the family. If Mom's Not Happy, Nobody's Happy!

Surround yourself with supportive positive people!!  When all else fails, give your kid a hug.  Reinforce to yourself again just why you made th choice to stay home.

NOW in Control

People tell me all the time that I must be a "strong person" to have been giving a special child.  Like, God just pointed down and said... Yup, Julie can handle it I pick her!  Realistically God told me to get my priorities in check! 

It was my priviledge this past week to be included in a Leadership Training Session with Hyrum Smith.  He didn't know it, but he explained how I am able to be a "special mom."  Simply - I'm forced to do the daily activities that most of us put off to another day.   I lost the title of "President of Control Freak Division" on November 26 ~ the day McKenzie arrived.   When you try to control everything, especially trying to control something you don't even understand, life becomes out of control.  Took me 40 years to admit it!

I don't consider myself any different than everyone else.  We all have issues ~ we all have families!!!  Seriously, we all deal with challenges in life and we all see life in different light, but when there is an event we CAN control, and we start believing that we CAN'T control it, but if the need is big enough and WE CAN MAKE ANYTHING HAPPEN!!!   Being the parent of an exceptional child proves to me everyday that I CAN make anything happen because SHE needs me to make it happen! 

Inner Peace ~ Having serenity, balance & harmony in our lives achieved thru the appropriate control of events.